What it’s all about

The fact that you are here means you probably already know me, but just in case you don’t I’m Tina Murray, 55 years old and fit and healthy and married to Pat.

I’m writing this page on 28 Jul 2017. It’s been a week now since day zero (21 July 2017) and already my memories of events and who said what and when is hazy – my memory has always been shockingly bad.  I want to be able to remember every little detail of related events since then and the only way I can do that is to write it down, so make no apology for the fact that this blog is all about me. This is the equivalent of having a notepad by your bed, so you can write your thoughts down and park them.  I need to empty my brain as its so full of fear, worry, panic, anger, anxiety, frustration, sadness etc swirling round in my head that these thoughts need to be parked otherwise I will drive myself demented and make myself ill – Ha!

I am waiting for a diagnosis of what type, stage and grade of Lymphoma I have and therefore this may be a difficult read for some. There are about 30 types of Lymphoma, and treatment depends on the type. Edit update – I now have a diagnosis, Follicular Non Hodgkin Lymphoma, low grade, stage 3A, being treated as high grade – see day 31 – 21 Aug 2017. We are now completely open about it, so please feel free to share if you like.

I have lots of family and friends and they are all going to want to know what the heck is going on with me.  To be honest I have told relatively few people up to now and it has already been mentally exhausting explaining the whole thing repeatedly.

So, I am taking a leaf out of my friend, Richard’s book, who uses WhatsApp to keep everyone informed of updates on his condition and instead am going to use this blog to keep my family and friends updated because for the more mature of them, WhatsApp is a technology step too far.

This will be really helpful to me as I only need to give the full detail once rather than have tell everyone individually, and helpful to everyone else as they can stay informed without continually asking me.  It doesn’t mean you can’t ask how I am!

Of course everyone will be worried about me, but I don’t want it to the only topic of conversation.  Unfortunately for the friends and family who are already aware, they are sharing this initial phase of shock and disbelief with us and at the moment it is the dominant topic of conversation but I expect that will wear off as we all learn to cope with it.  We all know someone who is ill and continually brings it into the conversation and to be honest it can get tedious and very wearing so I don’t want to do that or be that person, but I do want to keep you informed.  Equally I don’t want to be spoken about in hushed tones.

I don’t know how often I’ll update it, just when anything relevant happens.  I expect to have a lot to say initially and then for it to diminish.

As a nod to my accountancy profession and out of interest, I’m going to include the number of NHS staff I interact with and think we will all be astonished at the final tally.

If you want to get automated email updates from this blog, you can click the ‘follow’ button on the right centre of the page and put your email address in to sign up.  You’ll need to verify your email address when you receive the initial email but you don’t need a WordPress account to view it.

Or you can just visit the blog whenever you like, or never, it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.  The blog is in the ‘Slow Explosion’ menu in blue at the top of the page in reverse chronological order…..if it’s good enough for the professionals, it’s good enough for me. So you’ll need to scroll to the bottom of the page to start or click here to start and then scroll down. The ‘No Grenades’ menu gives helpful tips on how to help me and how not to help me.  Day zero 21 July 2017 is as good a place to start as any.

If you want to comment, there is the option at the bottom of each day’s post.