27/01/20 – Bye Bye Bertie – 2 yrs 6mths

Howdy folks……. I said in previous posts that no news is good news right? Finally, finally my dream of having nothing to tell you is a reality.

After 2 1/2 years of treatment, 204 medical appointments, 675 engagements with medical staff, I received my final treatment last week – and have been celebrating ever since.

I have neither fought nor battled cancer, no-one does, it is endured and you suffer greatly. I have endured 2 x CT scans, 2 x PET scans, echocardiograms, multiple x-rays, invasive biopsy, heavy duty chemotherapy, steroids, total hair loss, cracked and bleeding, gums, hands and feet, phlebitis, peripheral neuropathy, pulmonary embolism, neutropenia, lymphopenia, multiple hospital admissions, radiotherapy, loss of bone density, therefore broken ankle requiring artificial brace surgery, broken wrist requiring plating, immunotherapy and a touch of mental health help – who the hell wouldn’t after 2 1/2 years of all that? I now have enough metal in just about every bit of my body to make Pat rich if he cashes me in for scrap.

People whose lives haven’t been touched by cancer assume that once treatment has ended, everything goes back to normal. But they are so wrong, that is when the reality of what you have been dealing with physically and mentally crystalises and the healing of both can begin. My life will never be the same again and I have to try and find a ‘new normality’ In the UK, patients are often recommended to read this paper ‘After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what” by Dr Peter Harvey, it is extremely pertinent if you feel like reading it.

If you watch Cold Feet, then the episode of 20 Jan, when Faye Ripley’s character is describing how she feels in remission, was, to a cancer patient, realistic, heartbreaking and made me cry.

I tried to find words to describe the end of my treatment and couldn’t, so I invented a new one and describe myself as being in a state of jorrification. Experiencing both joy and terror at the same time. Joy that treatment is finally over, terror of what’s to come and having my drugs safety blanket removed. They haven’t made me go completely cold turkey though, I will see Dr M for blood tests and a check up every 3 months for 5 years, so January 2025 is my next target.

In the summer of 2017 I (and my family) were faced with the unimaginable dreadful news that I had cancer. Without treatment I only had a couple of months left and we truly thought that I wouldn’t survive. But because of the magnificent advances in cancer treatment, I did survive and will henceforth thrive.

Not relapsing during the 2 years of immunotherapy is significant, as sadly some people do. It means my prognosis for this incurable cancer is considerably improved – yay!

It has never ceased to amaze me that this blog is viewed from all corners of the earth, Pakistan being the latest country to light up my blog map. It just demonstrates that people touched by cancer all over the world are endlessly searching for information wherever they can find it.

Unfortunately, in each blog post, I have to mention sad news, and this one is no different. We said goodbye to Peter today at his funeral, our vivacious neighbour and friend who sadly succumbed to a brain tumour. He is now at peace.

I send heaps of hugs and positive vibes to my dear friend Christine, who suffered a terrible stroke at New Year, recovering slowly in hospital – love you and see you tomorrow x

This is countered by Susie, my cousin’s wife who has been declared free of breast cancer, which is wonderful news.

During the funeral service today I was and still am suffering acute pain spasms under my ribs. I am really hoping its because I overindulged yesterday on Richard and Eileen’s home made truffles and is not a sign that Gertie, Bertie’s sister is growing. Such is my paranoia that any ache, pain or lump is instantly alarming. I’m reliably informed these thoughts will diminish over time.

So, I reach the end of what I have to tell you, my final post of this chapter of my cancer experience, and I hope with all my heart that we won’t meet again until 2025.